Return to work

My first day back on the job was six weeks and two days after Maggie's birth. While leaving her at the day care was not as difficult as I had expected, the desire to go and get her was overwhelming. I can make it a couple of hours without thinking of her every second (just every other second). But sometime after 1 everyday I feel a frantic need to escape the office. It crushes my soul to think of my baby being 20 miles away. My only thought for the last few hours of work and the commute is "I must get my baby!" Is she alright? Is she hungry or cold or just missing her Mama? Does she yearn for my presence the same way that I yearn for hers? These questions are answered when I finally arrive to pick her up around 5. She has been fine all day. She's happiliy sleeping in a bouncy chair or smiling in a swing or being fed by the teacher. I am confident that she is happy and healthy while she's at daycare. I am not the only person capable of feeding her and wiping her butt. However, I long for these tasks while I'm typing reports or attending meetings.
I knew returning to work would be hard. I am suffering from the separation, but I'm proud of my strength to continue. I feel like I cherish my time with Maggie more than I would if I were with her constantly. Even is she's crying or pooping or spitting up I love every moment I share with her.
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So, this is my first real post since motherhood jumped all over me. I have reached new levels of sappiness. Every post is likely to be all about my feelings and emotions plus the occasional mention of poop.
I'm still in the process of writing the birth story. It will be posted eventually.