Mama at home

New title and new position

2007-08-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

After quite a hiatus, I have returned to my blog. The title "Working Mama" no longer describes me. While I was working outside of the home, I was very proud of that title. I don't regret my 18 months of working and having Maggie in daycare, but I am very happy to have made a change with my working/living/childcare situation.
I now live in the Middle of Nowhere, Kentucky within a mile of my in-laws' house. While that might sound crazy, these last few months have been fabulous. We took several great trips during our long summer vacation. Maggie is enjoying seeing her grandparents nearly everyday. I do some accounting work from home during Maggie's naps and in the evenings.
I hope to start keeping a better journal here and even recount some of those days when I was a working mama.

The long awaited birth story

2006-10-26T05:41:00.000-07:00

Sunday November 20, 2005

Tony and I woke up as usual. We look at each other and agree that yet again I have not gone into labor in the middle of the night. We sigh and decide to get on with yet another day without a baby. We attend mass where many prayers are said to please get this baby out of my body. Groceries are bought for the week. I decide to make a pumpkin cheesecake in preparation for Thanksgiving. In the back of my mind, I hope I can never finish this complicated recipe because I'll suddenly go into labor. This does not happen. The cheesecake takes a few hours to prepare and bake, but I complete it. I have decided not to go to work on Monday. My parents are flying in this evening, and I'd rather spend time with them than waddle around my office for another day.

6:00
Tony and I go to the gym. We work out for a full hour.

7:00
In the last minute of my workout on the elliptical machine, I feel a little leakage. I immediately think that maybe my water just broke. I finish my workout and am wondering if that was really it. I decide that it wasn't my water because I don't feel any more leaking. Tony is approaching ready to head home for the night. I consider not mentioning the leakage. I don't want to get both of our hopes up. I tell him about the leakage and my thoughts that it's not really my water. The doctor did say I might lose bladder control.

7:15
We decide to call the doctor just in case. The doctor on call returns my call, and she tells me that I must come to the hospital. Tony and I half-heartedly collect up our things to go the hospital. On the way there, we joke about how this is just a practice run. By now I'm convinced that I must have peed on myself rather than my water breaking. I feel like an idiot.

7:45
We arrive at the hospital. We are immediately put into a room. I get into a gown and have all of the sensors hooked up to monitor the baby's heartbeat and my contractions.

8:00
Desperate Housewives comes on. At least I have something to watch on tv during this waste of time, because I still haven't felt anymore leaking after that initial seepage an hour ago.

8:05
My parents have arrived in Houston. They call Tony for directions. He tells them that we're at the hospital, but that we'll probably be leaving soon.

8:10
My doctor comes in to examine me. She is going to do some test and check out some cells under a microscope to see if she can see amniotic cells. The exam is really short. She says there is no need for the microscope that I am definitely ruptured. We are here to stay. I'm nearly completely effaced and 3 centimeters.

8:15
Tony calls my parents back and tells them to come to the hospital. The contraction monitor shows that I'm having contractions. Apparently that gassy feeling I've been having for several days is what contractions feel like.

8:30
I am given pitosin in my iv. This should make my contractions stronger and get this labor moving.

9:00
Grey's Anatomy comes on. My parents arrive. We're all excited that they made it to Houston just in time for the baby to be born. They stay for a little while then head out to get Tony some food. While they are gone, I start having some painful contractions. Tony and I do the breathing techniques. Everything is going good. My delivery nurse is having trouble tracking the baby's heart rate because she keeps wiggling around. She decides that the baby needs an internal monitor. While she is inserting that, she disturbs my ruptured bag of waters. My water breaks all over the bed. It feels like somebody dumped several buckets of water all over my legs. Tony looks really grossed out.

9:30
My parents are back. The contractions are starting to kick my ass. I'm having powerful contractions every 90 seconds. The contractions last 60 seconds, leaving me with 30 seconds in between to reconsider this decision to be a mother.

9:45
My parents and Tony are eating their burgers. The contractions are officially killing me. I can't keep my legs still during them. I shake all over in between them.

10:00
I ask for an epidural. Now that I have asked for it, I want it immediately. I have to wait a few minutes for the epidural. These few minutes are filled with horrible pain.

10:10
The anestiolgoist arrives. He runs Tony and my Mom out of the room. My dad has retired to the waiting room to sleep. They make me sit up to get ready for the epidural. I just thought the contractions were awful lying down. Sitting up and having contractions felt like the lower half of my body was rebelling against the upper half. The doctor pokes around on my spine for awhile, gives me some local anesthetic, then the big needle. It hurts, but it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the contractions. I lie back in bed and relax.

10:30
My mom and Tony return to the room. I'm starting to lose feeling in my legs, and mercifully the pain of the contractions is dissipating. By the end of the local news, I'm completely deadened from the waist down. The only way that I know that I'm having a contraction is by watching the monitor.

11:00
My doctor comes back for another look at my progress. I'm now at 5 to 6 centimeters and fully effaced. Thank God, I didn't wait any longer for the epidural. I still have 5 centimeters to go.

11:30-5:30
After all the excitement of the breathing techniques and horrible contractions, labor with an epidural is pretty boring. My mom continues knitting a blanket for the baby. She brought me a Montgomery newspaper with lots of coverage of the Iron Bowl. Tony and I read the paper. I did the crossword puzzle.

5:30
Next check up on my progress. I'm now at 9 centimeters. The delivery nurse starts getting the room ready. I tell my mother that I enjoyed having in her with me during labor, but I only want Tony in the room for delivery. I’m starting to feel the contractions again. Now I only feel the pressure of the contractions not the horrible pain.

6:00
The room is ready. The nurse checks out the cervix, and I am completely dilated. My doctor is paged. My nurse wants to do some practice pushing.

6:10
I did three practice pushes during a contraction, and the baby’s head can be seen. I’m told not to push anymore until the doctor gets there.

6:30
My doctor comes in. I push three times during a contraction. Tony even looks to see the baby’s head emerging. He doesn’t look nearly as disgusted as I thought he would. One more contraction hits me, and I push. I feel lots of pressure then a release, and the baby’s head comes out. The release was the episiotomy. We all wait for one more contraction so I can push.

6:35
I push, and Maggie is born.

Time seems to stand still at this point. I look into Tony’s eyes. He looks like a combination of shock, disgust and pure joy. The slimy wriggly body is placed on top of my stomach. I barely got a good look before she is taken away. The nurses move her a few feet away from my bed to weigh and measure her. I can see her bright pink body and her mass of dark hair. The weight is announced to be 9 lbs. and I can’t believe that I had a baby that big.

6:40ish
After all the baby measuring and sticking her with needles and dropping stuff in her eyes, she is wrapped up and little hat put on her head. While that was going on, I did my final push (placenta, etc.) and started getting cleaned up. The doctor stitched me up. The stitches were not painful but I could feel the thread tugging through my skin. Finally, I go to hold Maggie. To say that it was the most wonderful moment of my life would be an understatement. She was beautiful.

My 9/11 Story

2006-09-08T12:04:00.000-07:00

On September 11, 2001, I was 19 years old. I was a sophomore in aerospace engineering at Auburn University. I was living with my brother in a trailer off campus. I worked at the Auburn Airport as a dispatcher.
My alarm went off around 7. It was a clock radio alarm. I listened to a few songs and then the news. The radio announcer said that a plane had run into the World Trade Center. Everyday I worked with small airplanes, so I assumed it was a two seater aircraft that had gotten off course.
I took a shower and got dressed. I was thinking about a linear algebra test that I had that day. I went into the living room and turned on the tv. The image of that smoking tower is still clear in my mind.
I went into my brother's room and woke him up. Clark had been up late working in the architectural studio. We rarely saw each other in the mornings, and I think he most have known from my voice that something was wrong. He sat on the sofa with me, and we watched the first tower fall together. I feel like it was some horrible mixing of our interests, an airplane and a buidling.
I can't remember the first time I talked to Tony that day. We had been dating for less than a month. I know I talked to him some time that morning. He and his roommates were watching the same terrible news unfold. I was already in love with him, and I recall being worried about an attack in Atlanta. He lived very close to the tallest buidlings there.
I went to class. My linear algebra professor gave us the option of taking the test or not. He gave us a little speech about how terrorists want to distrupt our daily lives, and we should not let the attacks affect what we need to accomplish. The class voted to take the test. I can't remember what grade I earned, but I ended up dropping the class a few weeks later. It was not a good idea to take linear algebra and differential equations in the same semester.
I met Jennifer for lunch at Waffle House. We were both pretty upset. We both had thoughts of war in our heads. We discussed the scary option of the draft and how it would affect Tony and Jamie. I worried for Catherine and Joe for the same reason. I can remember us hugging and crying while sitting at the counter.
After lunch, I went to work. Even though all flights had been grounded, the airport stayed open. I caught up on what paperwork needed to get done. The airfield seemed so quiet and empty. I spent most of my shift watching the news coverage.
My mother called me at some point in the day and requested that Clark and I spend that night at her house. On my way to Opelika, I filled up the Blazer with gas. I was worried about price gouging and fuel shortages.
My family all gathered at home that night. We had a quiet dinner and thanked god for each other.

Five years later so much has changed.
Tony and I are married and have a baby. Clark is married with a son due in a few weeks. Jennifer married Jamie, but lost him in an accident this year. Our husbands were never dragged into war, but Catherine's husband is serving his second tour of duty in Iraq.
I work with airplanes everyday, and I fly several times a month. The realities of September 11th surround me, but terror will not stop me from flying.

My thoughts on breastfeeding

2006-09-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

We started feeding Maggie real food recently. I have this strange pride in my biological power to grow babies. Maggie lived inside my body for nine months, and I fed her so well that she weighed nine pounds at birth. During the subsequent eight months she has eaten nothing but breast milk that I produced for her. She now weighs nearly nineteen pounds.

Tony has contributed one tiny cell to this project, and I am responsible for all of the rest. I produced nineteen pounds of cuteness. In a way, I’m kind of sad that Maggie will now start getting nourishment from other sources. I have enjoyed being depended on for all of her food. I still plan on breast feeding for a long time, but now my breast milk will be complemented by other foods.

My brother and I were breastfed. My mother always talked about nursing us with a smile even though she did it at a time when there was very little support for breastfeeding. Her mother and mother-in-law had bottle fed their babies. I feel like my decision to breastfeed was made much easier by my mother’s example. I never understood that smile that came to her face when she discussed nursing, but now I do.

It’s hard to describe how much I love nursing. I don’t think anyone can understand it that hasn’t had a fussy baby immediately calmed by breast milk. I feel the ability to produce milk is like a superpower. Men can’t do it, and many women won’t even try it.

The other wonderful benefits of nursing are evident in my body. I am now in a smaller clothes size than I was in 9th grade. I have lost all of my pregnancy weight plus thirty more pounds. I haven’t had a period since February of 2005. I think nursing gives me lots of “happy hormones”; I truly feel like these nine months have been the best of my life.

Flying with Maggie

2006-06-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

I work for an airline. My family and I get to fly for cheap, so we fly often. We mostly go to see the grandparents in Alabama and Kentucky. I want to chronicle our system for traveling with a baby.
We usually fly out on Friday nights. So the process begins Thursday evening. First we pack two roll aboard suitcases. Mine is half filled with my clothes for the weekend. Tony's is half filled with his stuff for the weekend. The rest of the packing capacity goes to baby junk: enough outifts to last her for at least a week, diapers, breast pump, bottles, toys, books, camera, etc. The diaper bag is readied for the trip: extra diapers, wipes, nursing blanket (giant bib that goes around my neck so that I don't flash the whole airport when she wants to eat), toys, change of clothes.
Tony works a short day on Friday. He comes home and packs up the car then picks up Maggie from day care. They swing by down town and pick me up. I print off our standby boarding passes at work so we can bypass the ticket counters. We park at an external lot at the airport. The first trip with the baby at six weeks we took the stroller. After that, we decided it was not worth the hassle. I carry Maggie in the Snugli. Tony hooks the car seat on to his suitcase, and I hook the diaper bag on to mine. We load up on the bus and head for the airport. We never check suitcases, because we fly standby and never know if we'll get on the plane until the last minute.
Security is a special challenge for parents with a baby. Tony and I have worked it down to a fine art. We can get through faster than most business travelers with their laptops. Tony is in charge of all bags, while I am in charge of Maggie. The baby must go through the metal detector but she can not be in a car seat, stroller or Snugli. I simultaneously hold our boarding passes, detach the baby for the Snugli, slip the Snugli off of my shoulders, and take off my shoes. Tony grabs the shoes and carrier. Maggie and I walk through the metal detectors while Tony continues throwing all of our crap onto the conveyor belt. I put Maggie in the car seat while I put the carrier back on and then strap her back in. While I'm doing that Tony grabs our stuff as it comes out of the x-ray machine. He loads the diaper bag and car seat back onto the suitcases and puts my shoes on me.
Once we are through that hurdle, we go the gate. Now the joys of standby travel begin. We wait patiently while other passengers are boarded hoping that there will be a seat for us. Sometimes we luck out and get three seats, so Maggie sits in her car seat. Sometimes we can only get two seats, sometimes together sometimes not. I have the authorization to ride in the jump seat in the cockpit. So if there were only one free seat, Tony could take Maggie in the cabin. We have not tried this seating arrangement yet. Maggie likes to nurse during flights, and Tony lacks the equipment. The worst case scenario is no free seats. Then we have to figure out a different flight to make it to our destination.
Maggie is pretty well behaved in flight. She doesn't wiggle too bad, and she usually falls asleep. If Tony isn't seated with us, I probably make my seat mate uncomfortable when I pull out the nursing blanket and start breastfeeding. It's no longer uncomfortable for me, so I don't care. When we started traveling with Maggie, I always tried to nurse during take off and landing. Now, we just nurse when she wants to. The pressure change doesn't seem to bother her ears. I have a theory that it her ears are used to the pressure change because of all the flying I did while pregnant.
Other than eating, Maggie likes to play with a toy or two, sleep and babble during a flight. When we arrive at our destination, Maggie goes back in the Snugli. We grab our suitcases and head to ground transportation. Usually our parents are waiting to pick us up. They are always eager to see the grandbaby. We enjoy the weekend and repeat the process on Sunday to get back home.

Operation Feed Maggie

2006-04-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

I made the decision to breast feed my baby. I, also, made the decision to work outside of my home. These two decisions create a lot of work for Tony and I, but the benefits for Maggie are definitely worth the effort.
I leave Maggie at day care each morning after her breakfast at 6:45. I leave 3 bottles for her each day with about 4 ounces in each bottle. Since I went back to work when she was six weeks old the amount in each bottle has slowly increased from 2 to 4.
After I leave her, I drive to the park and ride and hop on my bus with my pumping supplies. At work I pump 3 to 5 times depending on how much free time I have. I pump in a storage closet near to my cubicle. I double pump which is supposed to help maintain my supply. This was a tricky skill to learn, but now I can accomplish the double pump with one hand. My other hand is then free to talk on the phone or work on paper work. Each pumping session yields between 2 and 3 ounces. By the end of the day I usually have between 8 and 10 ounces. I carry the milk home in a soft sided cooler with freezer packs.
While we're apart Maggie usually only drinks two bottles. The third bottle is back up in case something happens and I can't pick her up at the normal time (between 4 and 4:30). She consumes an average of 8 ounces each day from the bottle. That means the remaining ~20 ounces she eats comes direct from the source.
When I pick her up, we usually nurse at the day care before we leave. This gives us a chance to reconnect after our hours apart. She's not necessarily very hungry at this time, just happy to see Mama. I throw her empty bottles into the diaper bag, and we head home.
Once we reach home, preparations for the next day begin. The fresh milk from the day is removed from the cooler and put in the refrigerator. The freezer packs are put in the freezer. The used bottles for the day are rinsed and put in the dishwasher. Bottles for the next day are prepared. Usually just two 4 ounce bottles are made to replace the amount consumed. Any surplus is left in the storage bottle. When the surplus milk from the weekday pumping gets to be five ounces or more I freeze it. The now empty storage bottles are rinsed and put in the dishwasher. The flanges, diaphragms and gaskets (pieces of the pump that come into contact with the milk) are rinsed and put in the dishwasher or washed with really hot water. We try to only run the dishwasher when it's full, so sometimes the pump parts just get a sanitizing wash rather than the full dishwasher treatment. The bottle making and cleaning tasks are shared between Tony and me. He can't physically feed Maggie, but he's a major part of Operation Feed Maggie.
Maggie eats several times during the evening and night. She's generally a content baby, so most of the time when she gets fussy she is ready to eat. These evening and night feedings are a wonderful part of my home life. It makes me happy to be able to feed and comfort my baby. She wakes at least once in the night to nurse, but she immediately goes back to sleep.
Before leaving for work, the pumping bag is packed: three clean storage bottles, flanges, diaphragms and gaskets are thrown in with the other pump parts. The fresh bottles are put in the diaper bag and then moved to the day care refrigerator.
This cycle occurs every weekday. I rarely pump on the weekends. I could pump more then and build up a larger frozen stock pile, but I'd rather do other things and nurse Maggie. The Maggie milk cycle allows for some changes to the routine. Occasionally Maggie has a hungry day and eats all three bottles. A few times a month, I work at the hangars instead of downtown. I still pump on these days, but my yield is not as high. There may be times that I need to work at night (So far, it's only happened once). These nights Tony will have to use the days milk for night consumption. I can make up any disparities with fresh or frozen surplus.
Maggie has flourished with her diet. She weighed 9 pounds at birth and is now over 15 pounds at five months. Some opinions say that I could start feeding her solids now, but I'm planning on waiting for another month or two. Even when she starts solids, her milk consumption will stay about the same. So the Maggie milk cycle will continue until she's at least a year old. Maybe at one year, I'll start giving her cow's milk at day care and continue nursing at night.

Maggie's Sleep Schedule

2006-04-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

I want to record a normal night for Maggie at age four and a half months. She's kept roughly this same schedule for the last three months.
9:00 pm
Mama is ready to go to bed. Maggie gets her last meal for the night, and she usually falls asleep in the middle. This last nursing is done laying down in the big bed. I stick the pacifier in her mouth if she'll take it. After she falls asleep, I let her lay there for at least five minutes. She has to be solidly asleep for the move.
9:30ish
I slide one hand under her head and one hand under her butt. I lift her up and over to her cradle. If all goes well, she does not wake up. I cover her with a blankie and get to bed myself. If she does wake up, we repeat the previous step. I'll repeat twice, after that I give up and let her spend the whole night in the bed with me.
12:00ish to 2:00ish
Sometime in that time window, I am awaken by soft baby noises. Little grunts and sighs jolt me from my sleep. She rarely wakes up enough to really cry. I get her out of the cradle, and we nurse laying down. I fall asleep. Maggie falls asleep. I never stay awake for this midnight snack. Soon I will start making an effort to stay awake and put her back in her cradle, but for now she sleeps with us for the second half of the night.
4:30
My crazy husband's alarm goes off. The clock is on my side of the bed so I hit snooze.
4:38
I hit snooze again.
4:46
Tony gets up and turns off the alarm. Sometimes Maggie sleeps through all of the alarms. Sometimes she wakes up and wants an early morning snack. So we nurse again and both fall asleep. Tony gets ready to go to the gym. Maggie and I get a kiss as he leaves.
6:00
My alarm goes off. I get up and leave Maggie sawing toothpicks in the king size bed. I get dressed, feed the kitty, and load up the car with the bags (diaper bag with fresh milk for the daycare, nursing bag with empty bottles and pump, and purse).
6:15
I wake up my sleeping beauty. She stretches and smiles. Maggie is definitely a morning baby. I change her diaper and get her dressed for the day. She goes into the car seat, and we head for the daycare.
6:25
We arrive at the daycare which is deserted. I get into the back seat with Maggie, and she has breakfast. I started this nursing in the parking lot deal in hopes to spend a few extra minutes with her before I had to leave her for the day. She usually eats while I talk to her or sing. Other times she's not interested in nursing so we just play for a few mintures.
6:45
The daycare opens. I drop off my sweet girl. In the future I hope she enjoys our few minutes of bonding in the car and doesn't feel sad when I leave.
I pick her up around 4:30 or earlier. She usually sleeps for several hours while there.
We have a lovely evening together. Then the whole cycle starts all over.
I think I'll write a few posts in the future to chronicle the milk cycle and all the work that goes into keeping Maggie supplied with fresh milk.

Mama's Girl

2006-03-27T12:47:00.000-08:00

Maggie is becoming a true Mama's Girl. I hate to admit it, but I love the fact that she prefers me. I'm sure this will eventually get old. When she is fussing and wiggling in someone else's arms, I can take her and she is content. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, Tony will bring her into the bathroom wailing. I can wipe the condensation from the shower door so that she can see me, and she will immediately settle down and grin at me.
I am the evil woman that sucks out her snot with the blue bulb of torture, and I take her to the doctor so she can have diseases inserted into her leg through a needle. She is either very forgiving or has a short memory.

Catching up

2006-03-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

So... it's been a long time since I've posted.In the last month, Maggie has grown a lot. She's finally outgrown some clothes. She can't wear her 0-3 months sleepers, but she still wears the onesies, pants and gowns. She has started making lots of talking sounds and laughing. If she is placed on her belly, she can raise her head up and look around. We have seen her roll for belly to back once.In my working life, I'm still going through bad days occasionally. Most days are tolerable though. I've given some thought to requesting some form of alternate work schedule. Maybe one or two days a week working from home. I'm hesitant to ask for such things, because I'm a big wuss. I've given myself the deadline of Easter to decide if I can continue to live this 40 hours a week away from my baby schedule. Until then I'm doing some soul searching and trying to decide what kind of schedule I really want.Today, I'm blogging from western Kentucky. We're at my in-laws house, so I'm getting some uninterrupted computer time while Maggie plays with her grandparents.Wow, this is a really boring post. Characteristic of my life these days.

Happy Thoughts

2006-02-04T12:42:00.000-08:00

In my last post, I mentioned that I have good days and bad days. I should clarify that I mostly have good days. My life as a mother gives me happiness that I never knew existed before I gave birth.
There are so many things I never understood before I had Maggie. I have new appreciation for my own mama. I know that she must feel about me the same way I feel about Maggie. The very idea of my baby outgrowing her first clothes brings me to tears. I can't even imagine how hard it is to see your children grow up and move away. I feel such a strange combination of pride and sadness. I'm proud that she's healthy and happy, but I'm sad that I can't slow down time and enjoy her infancy forever.
Another thing I've come to understand since Maggie's birth is why anyone would choose to have more than a few kids. If I had unlimited resources and time, I would have a baby every year. Maggie's great-grandma Kluemper had 12 children. I used to think she must have been a crazy woman. Now I know that she was just a tired woman.
I'm happy to endure the tiredness and the occasional bad day, just to see my baby smile. It's all worth it.

whining

2006-01-31T16:42:00.000-08:00

There are good days and bad days. Today has turned into one of those bad days. I miss Maggie so much that I can barely breathe. I've been on the verge of tears for most of the day. I'm so conflicted about working. I still like what I do, but the separation is painful. I can't stand the thought of other people watching Maggie grow while I'm stuck in this cubicle. I feel like I would have a similar conflict if I quit my job. The monotony of life with an infant doesn't appeal to me and the drop in our family income would be disappointing. I wish there was some middle ground of working and being with her.
I daydream about starting my own company. At my company you could keep your baby at your desk and still get your work done. You might have to stay a little longer in order to get everything done, but there's no reason to rush to the daycare to pick up the baby. She's already with you.
I'm counting down the minutes until I can escape. I still have the commute, but at least then I will be headed towards her. I can't wait to pick her up, hold her close and smell her soft hair.
I used to feel this same knot in my chest when I missed Tony. We lived in different states while we were dating, and we only saw each other on the weekends. After we got married, I never thought I'd feel this palpable longing for another human being again. I was wrong. It hurts just as bad, maybe even worse.

2 months

2006-01-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

I apologize to dooce for totally ripping off her idea.

Dear Maggie,
You are now two months old. I can't believe how much my life has changed since November 21st. I love every minute of the breastfeeding, diaper changing and even watching you sleep. You're not very active yet, but you're still fascinating to watch. I enjoy looking at you and thinking that you're a perfect mix of your father and me.
Since you came into this world you have mastered the art of breastfeeding. The newborn nurses wanted to give you formula because you refused to eat for the first day, but you picked it up very well the next day. Now you're an expert with the breast and becoming better with the bottle every day. I wish that I could feed you every time that you get hungry, but I made the decision to work and unfornately you are not invited to work. In a perfect world I could do my job and be with you at all times, but this world is far from perfect.
So I've started going to work, and you're started going to day care. From what I've seen, you don't seem to notice that you're at day care. Before I drop you off each morning, I feed you in the car and cuddle for just a few more minutes. You're happy as a clam when I leave. Many hours later, I return to find you happy and usually sleeping. Thanks for making Mama's return to work easier. I couldn't stand it if you cried when I left you.
Your favorite activities at this point in your life are eating, pooping and sleeping. You enjoy time in your swing and bouncy seat. We lay you under the baby gym occasionally. Sometimes you stare at the toys hanging above you, and sometimes you even smack one with your flailing arms. Maybe someday you'll learn to control those appendages and actually play with the toys.
We give you a bath every couple of days. You don't seem to mind the bath until it is over. Then you scream and cry while I'm trying to get you into a fresh diaper and nightgown. My interpretation of your screams is that you're cold and pissed that you had the misfortune of being born to amateur parents.
The sleeping scenario that works best for us right now is the whole family in the bed. Daddy sleeps on the left. Mama sleeps on the right. Maggie sleeps squished up next to Mama. Emma sleeps by Daddy's feet. By sleeping right next to me you enjoy the all night buffet. I don't want you sleeping in our bed for too much longer, but for now it's nice to have your warm little body right next to mine.
Having you in my life has made me more happy than I ever imagined. I'm trying to fully enjoy each minute with you while you're so tiny. You're already growing up so fast. It brings tears to my eyes to think of you outgrowing your newborn clothes. Yes, you've been cursed with a sappy and emotional mother. I will probably cry at every milestone in your life from your first tooth to your college graduation.
Love,
Mama

Return to work

2006-01-12T13:09:00.000-08:00

My first day back on the job was six weeks and two days after Maggie's birth. While leaving her at the day care was not as difficult as I had expected, the desire to go and get her was overwhelming. I can make it a couple of hours without thinking of her every second (just every other second). But sometime after 1 everyday I feel a frantic need to escape the office. It crushes my soul to think of my baby being 20 miles away. My only thought for the last few hours of work and the commute is "I must get my baby!" Is she alright? Is she hungry or cold or just missing her Mama? Does she yearn for my presence the same way that I yearn for hers? These questions are answered when I finally arrive to pick her up around 5. She has been fine all day. She's happiliy sleeping in a bouncy chair or smiling in a swing or being fed by the teacher. I am confident that she is happy and healthy while she's at daycare. I am not the only person capable of feeding her and wiping her butt. However, I long for these tasks while I'm typing reports or attending meetings.
I knew returning to work would be hard. I am suffering from the separation, but I'm proud of my strength to continue. I feel like I cherish my time with Maggie more than I would if I were with her constantly. Even is she's crying or pooping or spitting up I love every moment I share with her.
-------------------------------------
So, this is my first real post since motherhood jumped all over me. I have reached new levels of sappiness. Every post is likely to be all about my feelings and emotions plus the occasional mention of poop.
I'm still in the process of writing the birth story. It will be posted eventually.

Maggie

2005-11-30T14:54:00.000-08:00

Margaret Catherine Kluemper
Monday, November 21, 2005
6:35 am
9 lbs.
19 3/4 inches

She is beautiful and well loved. I promise to write posts about labor, delivery and motherhood, but for now I'm just happy to post that she's here.

1 centimeter

2005-11-17T15:24:00.000-08:00

I went to the doctor on Tuesday. She said I was dilated 1 centimeter and 70% effaced. At the time, I considered this wonderful news. I felt like my body was finally making some progress towards launching this kid into the world. I was peaceful and calm on Tuesday night and most of the day Wednesday. I guess I felt like something would happen soon and I could just relax about it. Well that time of calm has passed. I have reverted to anxious waiting and am plotting ways to force this baby out. I told Tony I was going to stop eating to try to starve her out. He just laughed at me and said that was the emptiest threat he had ever heard.
An interesting phenomenon has started to occur at work. Everyday people look surprised to see me. Then, they look at me like I'm crazy for coming to work. It's hard to explain that even though I look like I'm toting a two year old around inside my belly that I actually feel fine. I'm frustrated that I feel well enough to go to work everyday, but I might as well go. I don't have any interest in sitting around my house alone and still not having a baby. We had a Thanksgiving potluck for my floor today. I ate so much food that maybe the baby will give up her current residence just because Mama's lunch is crowding her.
I will sign off this post the same way I leave work everyday. Maybe I won't see you again for awhile. I hope to not update tomorrow because I'll be otherwise occupied. But if I'm still pregnant, I'll post another whiny paragraph about how much I want to get this over with.

39 weeks

2005-11-14T14:01:00.000-08:00

In case you were wondering, I still haven't had the baby. I still haven't had any symptoms that the baby has any intention of ever coming out. No contractions, no water breaking, no back aches, no dropping, no dilation. I'm officially aggrevated at my doctor for telling me that this baby will probably come early. If she had never put the idea in my head that I would be done with this by now, maybe I would not feel so impatient. If she would have just stuck to saying my due date was the 21st, I would have another week before I got all anxious to get this process started. Instead she casually mentions things like "this baby will probably need to come out at least a week early" or "you'll probably deliver in your 38th week". She is such a liar.
The spicy food thing is definitely not working. I'm afraid I might be permanently damaging my esophagus with the tabasco flavored food that I've been consuming. This weekend's pepper flavored fare including more level 4 Thai ginger chicken, hot wings, and tabasco with a little bit of chili added to it. And yes, we have finally tried that other way of encouraging labor. It's not very pretty but at least it takes my mind off the waiting for a while.
The baby is very active these days. I hope she is trying to figure out how to escape her confines. Tony says that if she's as directionally challenged as her mother she'll never get out of the womb. My emotions are getting pretty erratic, similar to PMS. I want chocolate and lots of it. I feel like I can't get the kitchen clean enough. I've lost all desire to accomplish anything at work. I've been crying during tv shows, but I think Grey's Anatomy would get to me even if I wasn't hormonally unbalanced. That show has some really sappy endings.
It's good to know Tony and I aren't the only ones eagerly awaiting some signs of labor. Whenever I call anyone, they answer the phone with an excited voice then sound disappointed that it's just me calling to talk.
I have a checkup tomorrow. Maybe some dilation will have taken place, but I doubt it.

Baby Mobile

2005-11-08T09:36:00.000-08:00

A few months into this pregnancy the air conditioning in my car gave out. Fixing everything that is wrong with the air conditioner would have cost more than the car is worth. This car is also the one I’ve been driving since I was 16. It’s a two door and not conducive to hauling around a baby. So the decision was made to buy a new car. Tony wanted to get one immediately, but I thought we should wait. So I drove around in Houston without air conditioning from June until now. It’s really not as bad as it sounds because I only drive 5 miles to the bus stop and back each day.

So time passed, and we started to car shop in earnest in October. We have oscillated back and forth over several vehicles at dealerships and from private sellers we found on the internet. By last weekend, I was tired of thinking about cars and had no energy to walk or even drive around dealership lots. I told Tony we could just wait until after the baby was born to deal with it.

Yesterday, my hero went out and found a great car without me. He did all of the shopping, haggling and signing without me. I got to go home and nap while he bought the car. Last night he brought it home to me, and I drove it around Sugar Land for a while. It’s a 2003 silver Volvo with low mileage and nice features. I am so excited about the new vehicle and the fact that my husband was nice enough to let me sleep while he took care of everything.
Maybe Maggie will come out now that she has a very safe and reliable car with air conditioning to be driven around in.

38 weeks

2005-11-08T07:22:00.000-08:00

Guess what. I still haven't had any contractions. I really wish no one had ever told me that 37 weeks was considered full term. I know that it's still 2 weeks until my initial due date and 1 week from my doctor's estimated date, but I'm getting very impatient. Every little pain and discomfort alarms me, and I think could this be a contraction. So far each of these pains has meant a) I have to go pee again. b) I have gas. or c) my belly has outgrown the rest of my body and it's just uncomfortable to drag around. The baby is still moving a good bit. I think she is teasing me and poking my bladder because it's funny.

This weekend we did a little more nursery shopping and decorating. We bought a side table at IKEA. This table was a breeze to put together. Nothing like the bookshelf of profanity that sits on the other side of the room. We put the monitor and a lamp on the side table. We've been looking for some decoration to hang over the crib. I decided to make some elephants out of the extra fabric from the curtains. They look kind of cute, and the project is keeping my mind off of the fact that the baby is refusing to come out for a few seconds of each minute.
I consumed a good bit of spicy food this weekend, including the ginger chicken from Thai Cottage with level 4 spiciness. It was really good, but the poor waiter could not keep enough water on our table. After the ginger chicken, I had my one true bout of acid reflux that has occurred during this pregnancy. It felt like I was gargling with Tabasco. Thankfully that passed very quickly. We still haven't tried that other method of bringing on labor. I keep threatening Tony with it, mostly as a joke. But I might get serious about it in a few more days.

The impatience begins

2005-11-02T01:10:00.000-08:00

I had my 37 week check up yesterday. My cervix is effaced, but there is no dilation. I was expecting this because contractions cause dilation, and I have had no contractions that I know of. Many women have Branston-Hicks contractions or false labor contractions for several weeks before they go into labor. So far, I have had nothing. Sometimes I think maybe the pain or tightening that I’m having is a contraction, but I think its just gas.

Tony and I have discussed some of the legendary ways of bringing on labor. Probably this weekend we’ll eat spicy food and engage in awkward acts of intimacy. I don’t know if this will help at all, but perhaps it will take my mind off all this waiting for just a little while. I must be crazy to be wishing the pain of contractions and labor upon myself, not to mention all of the sleeplessness and work that comes with caring for an infant. All of that is inevitable, so I want it to happen now.

37 weeks

2005-11-01T11:34:00.001-08:00

Yesterday this pregnancy hit 37 weeks. This means Maggie is considered a full term baby. She could come any day now. I'm really trying to be patient and easy going about this open ended timeline. However, I can not stop thinking, "When is it going to happen?". When I'm at home I feel quite calm about the upcoming birth. At work, I'm more anxious and curious. It's hard to think about anything at work without thinking if the baby came now I wouldn't have time to finish this. I feel like my coworkers are prepared to pick up my projects when I start my maternity leave, but I don't feel ready to let go of my projects.

I have a doctor's appointment today. I go every week now. These appointments are very uneventful. Pee in the cup, check my weight and blood pressure, talk with the doctor for five minutes. It's getting to be monotonous. The new addition to the routine is a pelvic exam. Last week no dilation, and I'm predicting the same for this week. Makes me feel kind of down, like I'm not making any progress. I wish I could slow down, relax and enjoy the remaining days of pregnancy, but instead I feel like things should be moving along by now. Most preparations for the baby are complete. I still haven't packed the hospital bag completely, but I'm getting there. I feel like if the bag is waiting in the trunk of the car it will just sit there for weeks, but if I keep putting off packing I'll go into labor and have to pack really fast.

34 weeks

2005-10-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday we had the final ultrasound and 34 week check up. This ultrasound was not nearly as interesting as the 20 week one. The gender mystery was already known, and there just wasn't as much to see this time. The baby is so squished up that it's hard to make out many body parts. The technician did focus in on her face for a while. It was cool to see her mouth and lips moving and her eyelids blinking. She has big full lips like Tony. The good news with the ultrasound was that my placenta has moved to the right place, so we don't have to worry about it blocking the cervix.

The official weight gain is 30 pounds, but at least the rate of gain is slowing down now. I only gained one pound since the last visit. My blood pressure is still considered normal, although it is a little higher than my usual. My belly is measuring normal for 34 weeks; however the baby is in the 75 percentile for size. Because she's so big, the doctor says she'll have to come out at least a week early. So the countdown to birth is now 5 weeks instead of 6.

I had a brief pelvic exam to do a strep test. Tony was thrilled to get to witness that. Then we got a discussion about when we should call or come to the hospital. From both the doctor and our childbirth classes, we keep being told that first time mothers take a long time in labor and delivery. The average is 15 hours in labor and 2-3 hours in delivery. Oh goody.

The next checkup is in two weeks. After that, I have to go every week until she's born

It was like soooo gross

2005-10-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we started childbirth classes at the hospital. We took a hospital tour, learned some relaxation techniques and positions, and then we watched a labor video. I found most of it very informative. The video had the same effect on me that "The Miracle of Life" video did in seventh grade. I was intrigued by the process while being grossed out and unable to contain my uncomfortable giggles. I am not a serious person, and serious situations often give me a bad case of the "church giggles". Tony and I, along with several of the other couples, couldn't stay straight faced. Am I really mature enough to do this myself? I'm sure it won't be so funny when I'm the one with the giant baby head emerging from inside of me.

Construction of baby junk

2005-10-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend we finally got down to some serious baby preparations. The three showers that were thrown for our baby in various states provided us with plenty of clothes and lots of gift cards. We finally bought a crib on Friday. Upon getting it home and building it quickly and easily, we decided we didn't like it that much but we could live with it. On Saturday, we went shopping for other baby things, and Tony found a crib he liked so much better. So we bought it and briefly had two cribs in our house. After the return of the first crib, we set up the second crib. The second crib was a real pain in the ass to put together. But assembling it paled in comparison to the monumental task of building a bookshelf that we bought at IKEA. That piece of crap took forever to build and pushed Mama and Daddy to new levels of anger and frustration. If it weren't so heavy, I think Tony would have tossed it out of the window at several points in the construction. After an hour or two of profanity and dirty looks between partners, we finally slid the diabolical bookshelf into position. It actually looks quite nice and is a wonderful place for all of Maggie's books, toys, etc. I'll take a picture sometime and post it.

8 months and Rita

2005-09-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

The big event of the last few weeks here in Houston was hurricane Rita. Yes, Tony and I evacuated. No, there was no damage to our house. We didn't even lose power. We flew to Nashville on Wednesday night, hung out at his parents' and grandparents' houses Thursday through Saturday, and flew out of Indianapolis on Sunday. Therefore, we were never in the horrible traffic jams or the crazy lines at the airport. Overall our evacuation was probably the quickest and cheapest of anybody in Texas. We evacuated because we weren't going to be able to get to and from work for Thursday and Friday anyway. Also, if we had lost electricity, I couldn't stand the idea of being this pregnant without air conditioning in Houston.
This pregnancy hit 32 weeks yesterday. I can hardly believe that I only have 8 more weeks of being pregnant. Preparations for this kid are finally getting started. After two baby showers, Maggie has enough clothes to last her through puberty if only she would stay in the 3-6 months size range. Nearly all of the tiny new outfits have been washed and are hung up in her closet awaiting her arrival. We still have no furniture in the nursery, but we have many gift cards which will be used to buy furniture.
My buddy Catherine gave me the car seat that her last child used. The trouble with this car seat was that it was in Clarksville, TN and I live in Houston. So she brought it to my mother-in-law's house for the first shower. My mother-in-law brought it to Indiana. And I flew it to Houston with me on Sunday. I got lots of weird looks and even concerned questions about the fact that I was carrying an empty baby seat. Then the people would see my stomach and look even more confused. But the well traveled car seat is now at our house, and that's one less thing we need to buy for this baby.
Life is starting to get more uncomfortable by the day. Eventually, I will get so uncomfortable that the horrendous pain of labor will be preferred to being pregnant any longer. Isn't that a cheerful thought? If you don't want to read the bitching and moaning about how I feel, skip to the next paragraph. First of all, my ribs ache all the time. There are tiny feet or a head or something constantly shoved into my rib cage. My feet and ankles swell up a lot, especially on planes. I'm simultaneously hungry and have a stomach ache most of the day. I'm tired most of the time. My back and feet hurt. And to top it all off, I look funny. It doesn't matter how many times my dear husband tells me I look beautiful and that I look like a pregnant lady is supposed to. I can look in the mirror, and I look funny.
Ok enough whining, the bright side is there are all kinds of symptoms that I have not yet suffered. There is a possiblilty of me experiencing insomnia, heartburn, hemroids, false labor, etc., etc. in the next eight weeks. So overall a little swelling and achiness aren't that bad. I've got a check up tomorrow, and I'll post new belly pictures soon.

Ramblings at 30 weeks

2005-09-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

This pregnancy is really flying by. I only have ten weeks left. Overall I'm feeling great. I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes, but I'm sure I don't even know what uncomfortable means yet. I had a cold over the last week, but it has now subsided. I really missed my old buddy Nyquil.
I had my 30 week check up on Tuesday. I lost one pound from the last appointment. I think that my weight is always in flux depending on how much water I'm retaining. Official weight gain is 18 pounds. The doctor said that my weight was good, and I'm measuring perfect for 30 weeks. Blood pressure is still low. The blood work from two weeks ago showed that I'm still low in iron. I take these stupid iron supplements everyday, but most of that goes to the baby. I do not have gestational diabetes. This is a wonderful fact. One of my friends who recently had a little boy was diabetic, and she had to follow this strict diet to keep her sugar down. I guess I'll continue to eat what I want to, which is basically everything.
I had to have an Rh shot because Tony and I have conflicting blood types. To add to the joy of having a shot, my insurance did not pay for it. So I had to go to the pharmacy and pick up the $130 shot. Then I had to pay my doctor's office to administer it. They gave me some paperwork saying that it was medically necessary, so maybe I can get a refund from the insurance company. I can't remember the last time that I had a shot. I had forgotten how much it sucked. I feel sorry for my poor baby who will have to get so many and not even understand why she has to go through the pain.
Maggie is a quite a mover these days. She is very active while I'm at work and trying to sleep. She likes to rest whenever I want her daddy or anyone else to feel her moving. Tony has felt her quite a few times, but she has been shy around everyone else. I hope this is a sign that she will be calm and peaceful whenever Tony is around. And maybe she will learn to change her own diapers and help Mama fold clothes. Ahh, at least I can dream.
My flying days are drawing to a close. The doctor wants we to stop flying now, but I have three more weekend trips planned. I will take these trips so long as I don't have any bleeding. After I'm officially grounded, I'm going to add up how many miles I've flown during this pregnancy. She is one well traveled fetus.
My first baby shower was this past weekend. My friend Catherine and her mother Terry hosted the party, and it was held at my mother-in-law's house in Kentucky. Maggie received lots of adorable clothes. I no longer have to worry about this baby having nothing to wear but diapers. It's great that we got lots of clothes because we need them and they're easier to get onto an airplane than a crib. Refreshments included a cute cake and big tray of nuggets from Chick-fil-a. Maggie and I really loved the nuggets. Mmm nuggets.

7 months

2005-08-31T10:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm getting really lackidasical about documenting this pregnancy. I'll try harder for the next 12 weeks. I had my 28 week appointment yesterday. My doc was there when I came in but had to leave for a delivery. The nurse practioner saw me instead. I drank the horribly sweet fruit punch needed to check for gestational diabetes. The scale and I did not get along at the doctor's office. I have officially gained 20 pounds and outweigh my husband. I can't even imagine how much more I'll put on before this process is complete. I had to wait around for another hour to have my blood drawn. I feel asleep on one of the couches in the waiting room.
Other maternity related events of the last month include the constant buying of maternity clothes. I refuse to buy anymore. These few outfits will have to last me until November. I have also started dipping into Tony's side of the closet. It might not be the cutest look, but I love wearing his shirts. All this maternity garb is made out of the cheapest fabrics, so his 100% cotton button ups feel wonderful in comparison. I bought 7 pairs of pants and 9 shirts in plain colors so that they can all be mixed and matched. I still wear a few of my old shirts and Tony's shirts to have a little more variety.
During the month of August we flew to Washington D.C., home to Alabama and Boston. We have a few more trips planned in September and possibly into October. I will be grounded sometime in October. Hopefully, I'll get a few more trips in. The baby seems to be more active when we're in flight. I wonder if she feels the pressure difference.
As far as preparing for the baby's arrival, we are way behind. We have bought a small amount of clothes. The poor child has not one stick of furniture. We painted her room lavender and mint green, but we haven't done the touchups yet. I am mid way through sewing a Christening gown for her. I have the bodice and skirt complete. I just need to attach the sleeves and collar. The gown has been in this state for several weeks. It would only take a few hours to finish, but I just haven't felt like it. We have registered for baby stuff at Target and Babies R Us. I intend to reigster at Walmart as well. I think we'll really get into baby prep mode after I stop flying. It's hard to get anything done when you're gone every weeekend.
This month has not provided many strange cravings. I still enjoy my grapes and Tabasco sauce. Mostly I just want food of all kinds all the time. I guess that explains the 20 pounds I've gained. I really am trying to practice some constraint, but it seems to get harder every day. I have developed a distaste for several foods that I used to like. The sight, smell and taste of bananas completely disgust me. While I will always prefer the form of barbecue that I grew up with, Texas barbecue has become one of the nastiest things in my mind. I can still eat pulled pork with plenty of yellowy barebecue sauce (my favorite from Chuck's at home), but brisket, sausage and that dark red sauce that is popular here are vile and not to be eaten.

22 weeks

2005-07-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

My due date is in four months. At times, four months seems like it will last forever and my tummy will continue to grow little by little for the rest of my life. Other times, I feel like there is so little time left for me to live the life of a non-mother. I've been reading a book about breast-feeding, and I'm beginning to a little weirded out by the idea of being a mother. It's not about the nursing itself. I have always planned to feed my babies in this way, and what a giant waste of flesh it would be if I did not use the DD's for this purpose. Just the idea of being the mama is getting to be a little scary.

At the same time, I can hardly wait for the baby to be born. I actually wish my belly were bigger. I seem to be on a borderline between looking pregnant and fat. I'm used to looking fat; I want to look pregnant. I've had a few requests for belly pictures from my friends that I never get to see. I promise I'll put some up soon.

All seems to be going well in this fifth month. My newest craving is grapes with Tabasco sauce. It tastes so good together, but it makes my lips burn for hours. My aversion to sweet things is officially over. For several months, I wasn't interested in any form of cake, cookie, candy, etc. Now I want all of them together. Little Debbie's call out to me from the grocery store shelves. There is a Coldstone located dangerously close to my office. So far, I have been good and resisted most temptation, but I don't know how long I can keep it up.

I have gained about 8 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, but that means I've put on about 15 because I lost weight in the first three months. I dread the weight that is coming. I don't mind being a healthy weight and keeping my baby healthy. I do mind weighing more than my husband. That day when I outweigh him is coming. I predict irrational emotions, crying and throwing things.

Overall, I am content am happy at this point. I'm more than halfway through the process. Even with my insecurities, I can't wait to hold my baby for the first time.

itsagirl

2005-07-07T15:56:00.001-07:00

itsagirl
Originally uploaded by EnderAds.

Maggie

2005-07-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

Maggie
Originally uploaded by EnderAds.

June news

2005-06-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

Since my last ultrasound, I have had one doctor's appointment on June 6. All was well with me and the baby. Tony and I got to hear the heart beat for the first time. It was exciting yet kind of a let down compared to actually seeing the baby in May. We will have the long awaited 20 week ultrasound on July 6. Hopefully, the mystery of the gender will be solved.

At the last appointment, my weight had dropped another two pounds. So that's six pounds lost since finding out I was pregnant. The trend should reverse in the next month or so. My belly has started to grow. I will start posting pictures of the belly soon. I have officially retired my size 12 pants. So sad. I did make it to my brother's wedding without being to fat to fit into my bridesmaids dress.

My newest cravings include fried rice, french fries and ice cream. Like I said the weight has got to be coming soon, becuase I'm hungry all the time.

The gender mystery

2005-06-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

Reasons I think this baby is a boy:

Tony's contribution to the production of this baby decided the gender way back in February, and Tony's family has a high ratio of boys to girls. Roughly one girl comes along for every three boys.
I have not thrown up at all. I have heard that girls make their Mama's suffer with morning sickness. Could by a myth though.
My brother is convinced this baby is a girl. I really prefer a world in which my brother is wrong.
My granny told me I should have a boy that looks just like Tony. (Hands off Granny, He's mine.)

Reasons I think this baby is a girl:

I feel rather "girly" lately. I wear lots of pink.
There are a lot more girls in my family. Even though I technically have nothing to do with the gender.
My brother is convinced he is getting a niece.
According to my new neighbor, the neighborhood we moved into has about 30 girls and 1 boy.

My final prediction is Boy.

What do you predict?

Hopefully the answer will be revealed on July 6th.

ultrasound2

2005-05-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

ultrasound2
Originally uploaded by EnderAds.

Cravings

2005-05-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

Hot wings
Thai food
Jalapenos
French onion soup with bread and melty cheese
tortilla chips and rotel dip
A BIG CHEESE (Thankfully, I'm going to Auburn this weekend. I have a date with the loveliest of cheeseburgers on Saturday night. If my parents didn't live there, I think that I would ditch them and go to Auburn just for the burger.)

12 weeks

2005-05-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

We went to our 12 week check up and ultrasound on Monday. The ultrasound was very cool. I was a little nervous that they might tell me that the cyst was getting bigger and the baby wasn't. The technician showed us the baby. It was unbelievably clear. I couldn't fathom seeing so much detail when my stomach hasn't even started growing yet. When she focused in our baby, it started kicking its legs and moving its arms a little. Such a precious moment. After the technician was done with her stuff, the doctor came in a looked around a little. He said that the cyst was not growing and should not pose a problem for the baby's development.
After I got dressed again, we headed over to my doctor's office. My weight has not changed in the last four weeks, and my blood pressure was normal. I finally got to meet my doctor. Previously, I had only seen the nurse practioner. She seemed nice and smart. I asked her questions about flying while pregnant. She said there was no problem as long as I felt fine, so I'll keep traveling until I'm too big to fit through the plane door.
We should be proud homeowners in another few weeks. This will be our third move in one year. I'm really looking forward to finally settling somewhere permanent.

I'm too young to be a homeowner.

2005-05-02T09:13:00.000-07:00

I have abandoned the blue sea sickness bracelets this past week. I think that the nausea has passed. I'm so glad that I made it this far without throwing up. I really hate throwing up. The exhaustion and gas are still with me. I weighed myself on Saturday, and I have now dropped below the weight that I was when I graduated from high school. How can I eat so much and still be dropping in weight? I'm sure I'll make up for it when I start gaining.
I have gotten quite comfortable in my new job, and I've even told my boss and most of my coworkers about the baby. Everyone seems very happy for me.
This weekend we did some more househunting and even put in one offer. We are practicing our patience as we wait for a reply from the seller. Tony and I are very excited about owning a house, while also being scared shitless. In many ways, I still feel like a child, and children aren't supposed to have mortgages. I know that I'm married and have a job and am going to be a Mama, but somehow "30 years of house payments" seems way to old for me. I should really freak out when I have to sign the final paper work on this house or whatever one we end up in.

ultrasound

2005-04-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

ultrasound
Originally uploaded by EnderAds.

Poorly scanned copy of the ultrasound.

Catching up

2005-04-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

So it's been weeks since my last post. After the long trip to Florida, I started my brand new job. This job is in fact my dream job. I graduated from college in May of 2004, got married on June 5, and moved to Jacksonville, Florida where my hubby had a job. The plan was for me to join him in the world of employment somewhere in or near Jacksonville. This plan did not work. I searched for work for several months. We decided that I should start looking outside of Jacksonville for a job. Soon I had offers from one company in Washington, D.C. and one from another is Houston, Texas. We opted for Texas. I moved here without Tony and started my first job as an aerospace engineer. That one ended in me being laid off a few months later. By then Tony had managed to get a transfer through his company to their Houston office. I was promptly hired by another company, but I just wasn't satisfied. When an opening came up in the airline industry and in Houston, I jumped all over it. Now, I'm finally working in the industry that I want and living with my husband. This sounded like a good time to make things complicated with a baby.
The first week in April, I had an ultrasound. An interesting experience in many ways. In order not to miss much work, we scheduled it for 7 in the morning. So we had to be at the hospital at 6:30. I was admitted, drank 32 ounces of water, changed into the very stylish gown and waited. The radiologists spent about 3 minutes doing the ultrasound stuff you always see on tv with the little wand and the jelly on the stomach. For someone reason, Tony was not allowed in the room for this. They called Tony in to watch the second part of the exam in which the wand was stuck up the nether regions. She poked around in there for awhile and showed us the baby. A little peanut shaped thing with a flickering heart beat. It was so beautiful. I cried a little. Then a doctor came in a poked around a little more. She found a giant cyst on one of my ovaries. This news freaked us out, but the doctor said not to worry about it.
A few weeks later the nurse practioner from my doctor's office calls. She says that on top of the cyst I have a yeast infection, bladder infection and bacterial infection. I have since been treated for the yeast and bladder infections. The cyst and bacterial infections will have to be monitored.
My 8 week appointment was last week. I had blood taken and my weight checked. Actually lost a few pounds. Experiencing some queasiness, battled by the fashionable blue seasickness bracelets that I wear constantly. I'm always tired and always have gas, but I love being pregnant. I promise the next post will be more entertaining and less informative. I am trying to keep up with this to record both physically how the pregnancy is going and emotionally how I feel about it.

17 hours on the road

2005-04-05T15:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend my parents left, and Tony and I drove for eight and a half hours to Florida. We stayed Friday night with my Grandma and informed her that she was going to be a great-grandma. She was excited. She said that my brother had claimed he would be the first to create a great-grandchild. HaHa I beat him. Well I guess Tony helped too.
On Saturday we ate lunch with Grandma, then we met Tony's family at the beach. Upon the announcement, there was much smiling and hugging. I think they might like me better than Tony now. Once the soon to be grandparents settled down from the news, we told the soon to be aunt and uncle, but being teenagers they both looked like they couldn't give a shit and went on with their complicated, dramatic teenage lives. I'm so glad I survived high school.
We spend a lovely day at the beach on Sunday and had dinner at Hooters, because Tony's family loves to eat at Hooters. I won't make any more comments about that. Although I do love their wings.
Yesterday I drove the entire eight and a half hours home. Yeah, me, the pregnant one. I would rather do it myself and make him feel guilty about it later. When we got home, I made dinner. Yeah, me, the pregnant one. After dinner there was a great slathering of guilt applied to my husband for not driving or feeding me and then I cried a little. I think the mood swings have already begun.

I'm having a baby.

2005-03-31T18:27:00.000-08:00

So the point of this blog is to record my pregnancy and share it with friends, family and strangers. The other person participating in this process is my dear husband, Tony. I'm a little new to the concept of blogging, but I hope to make it a part of the next 8 months.

Here's the story so far.
Last week my husband was out of town on business, and I was finishing up my last week at my former job. I thought it was about time for my period, but nothing was happening. I happened to have a pregnancy test at home because I was really late a few months ago. I decided to take the test when I came home on Wednesday thinking that it would definitely be negative. The two pink lines showed up as soon as I was finished peeing. I was immediately elated and sad, because I knew I couldn't tell Tony over the phone. Instead I called my best friend and told her. We were giddy and girly on the phone for awhile, and I spend the rest of the evening thinking all kinds of baby thoughts.
Thursday I told a friend at work because I just had to tell someone in person. My college roommate called that night so I had to tell her also. I was feeling guilty by now, three of my girl friends knew and Tony was still oblivious.
Friday was my last day at work and the day I would pick my husband up at the airport. I was very hyper all day, no need for caffiene anymore. My coworkers sent me off with a very nice going away lunch. I arrived at the airport to pick up Tony with two jewelry boxes. One contained a new wedding ring, he lost his a few weeks ago. The other was a bracelet box with the pregnancy tests in it. He opened the ring box and put his ring. He eyed the other box suspiciously. Tony is not a man interested in bracelets so he was worried about what eyesore I might have bought him. When he did open it, he looked incredulous. He thought it was negative and that I was just being mean.
Once the shock wore off for him, he wanted to call his parents but decided he'd rather tell him in person. So he called his college roommate instead. Tony had to get used to the idea quickly because my parents were waiting for us at our apartment, and we were going to tell them next.
The grandparents are overjoyed, and we have enjoyed a nice week of them visiting and me being unemployed. They are leaving tomorrow, and Tony and I are driving to see his parents. I'll write about telling the other grandparents later.
I'll try to make future posts less boring. I start my new job on Tuesday. This seems to be a perfect time in my life. I am starting my dream job and getting ready for my first bab y.